“O give thanks to the Lord,
Call on his name ;
Make known his deeds among the peoples “
Our life in the new town refreshingly different .slower ..calmer ..
My son’s school was housed in a spacious red tiled bungalow surrounded by a beautiful garden, lined with huge fig trees .Petunias of different hues dancing against the background of lush green lawn welcomed me whenever I visited the school .. My memories of sitting out in the porch with the Founder principal , an excellent academician and an outstanding special educator , are still so precious to me !
I remember how intently she would listen to me , assuaging my fears & concerns about the future. She too had a healing experience and had promised God that she would turn her life around and do something for the forgotten ones in the education system here . This school was her dream , where kids with difficulties learnt alongside neurotypicals.
Never once did I have to be apologetic about Autism with her . Right from our first meeting, I sensed her positivity and her belief in the potential of the child . She asked me to sit in his classroom for a day , thereby allaying my worries . I saw that he was in good hands ; The class teacher handled him very well , giving him personal attention whenever needed .
I experienced a new freedom ! No more worrying about his classes ; no more cooking till evening too ! I ventured out of my autistic world and made some friends in the apartment with the other fellow mothers .. Soon I found myself in a small group and then a bigger one .In the beginning I did find them to be helpful but as days passed by , there were too many outings ..Not my cup of tea ! Before Jeff was diagnosed , I was working and my outings were restricted to weekends , that too not all weekends . I still prefer to curl up with a book than go shopping.
But I did indulge them a bit as I thought it was a social obligation. Then there were potluck lunches which slowly started to be linked with some religious ceremony as the numbers increased . A huge source of discomfort for me ! Here in India Monotheism is not understood or accepted by a vast majority. Reluctance to worship is often considered disrespectful as most of them would not hesitate to pray in a church.
Slowly I drifted away to the periphery and made a graceful exit or so I thought!! This was not seen kindly and created a lot of misunderstanding; I was left to wonder why this was taken so personally.
There I was , alone .. but somehow it didn’t matter much . I was at ease with my conscience . I prayed for serenity as it wasn’t a pleasant experience to be the topic of many an unfortunate discussion.
But for me ,there was& there will be ,only one true God , God of Israel , Isaac & Jacob . And I wouldn’t bend my knees before another !
“I am the Lord your God , who brought you out of the land of Egypt out of the house of slavery ; you shall have no other Gods before me “
There was only one problem; my heart wasn’t really following what Jesus taught us –
“Love your enemies and do good to those who hate you ; Bless those who curse you and pray for those who abuse you”
Praying for them wasn’t difficult but forgiving them truly was tough as it became a continuous process ; There was nothing amiss as far as appearances were concerned . I wished someone would talk to me and clear the air . I was clueless and I kept praying as bitterness was creeping into my heart .
Soon new residents came in and I was able to make long lasting friendship with some ! Some of them weren’t Christians but that never was a hindrance!! Once more I felt God would always do the little things that make our lives beautiful!
“As a father who has compassion on his children , so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him “